i can't live without my seniors.
like honestly. school is gonna suck asshole without you there.
i feel like i'm going to be lonely.
you guys are all that i have.
sigh.
but we still have the summer <3
so lets party hard and make memories that will last a lifetime k??
i'm sitting outside. and its really nice.
but there is a horrible glare on the screen and all i can see is my face.
ummmm
no one really has upated lately, but hopefully everyone is okay and stuff.
cya.
shut the fuck up and get over yourself. really.
but anyway got my license. which is great. :)
play is grrrrrrrrrreat.
rumor has it that the theatre program in our school is going to be cut because of lack of funding?
let's do something about that shit.
okay.
R.I.P.
and its ruining my good mood.
SO STOP IT PEOPLE.
i feel like my relationships with some people are prematurely ejaculating.
like. they could be better and longer, butttt they just stop. and then its awkward.
haha yaya.
um so i'm grounded.
for not telling my parents that i was leaving megans house to go to emanuels.
which was stupid. i should have called them but im an idiot so okayyy lol.
it's only for two weeks.
two weekends.
two friday nights and two saturdays nights.
fuck.
haha just kidding yo its not a big deal.
la de da. have a great day. and cheer up god dammit.
hahahahahahahahahaha
yay for underage drinking.
and other stuff.
:)
yay for having a kick ass junior year.
:D
YAY FOR NOT BEING A ROLE MODEL!!!!! YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYAYAYAYAYAY!
i'm running away from things i'm sposd to be doing.
like homework
film festivals.
school in general.
boys (teehee)
goodbyes
hellos
text messages
phone calls
scheduling
checking my email
fuck.
2.) praise jimi
3.) didn't see that coming.
4.) that's hot.
5.) hahaha fuckkk off man.
i'm not even a motivated person.
like i do things or i don't do things according to my mood.
and some people may say this is a horrible way to run your life
but i wholeheartedly disagree.
it's great actually.
no pressures or anything.
if i fail at something i don't really feel failure because i didn't really tryyy
and if i win something i don't really care either because its like oh cool
i mean somethings motivate me to try.
like work obviously because i need money.
not really school, because i'm smart enough to pass without thinking
acting used to. but the most of the drama club makes me want to kill myself.
half way my peers because they are enjoyable but there is also a bad side
to that. like when they become stupid. then i just don't acknowledge them.
so you see? it balances out.
if i had it my way i would sit on my bed surrounded by books all day.
and read and read and sleep and occasionally travel. half stoned alllll the time.
GASP speaking of drugs i just found out that one of my classmates whom i love dearly
is smoking crack.
like crack crack.
and i just learned of this.
and i was down down down the whole day.
i'm going to write an anonymous letter to the parents of this pretty child.
it's so sad. how down a person can get.
i've been thinking of this alot. and it must be so lonely.
so dark and horrible. i never want to be like that.
that motivates me too.
i've also been thinking about like what i've been doing on the weekends and shit.
like. i went to this party at someones house. and a couple of senior girls were drunk shitless
and just laughing and falling all over the place and being obnoxious and it was funny i guess
but then i thought about it.
and it just looked so sad.
and empty.
and people were taking pictures which would be on so and so's facebook the next day
and my heart broke. because they wouldn't remember the moment.
and they would look at the unfamiliar picture of themselves looking very unappealing as they raised
their red solo cups in somesort of drunken salute and not even recognize themselves.
or maybe even more upsettingly, they would recognize themselves and just blow this off as another friday night.
and i don't know what i;m trying to say.
because i do have a great time at parties. but i never lose control. maybe that's why.
it's just a sad sad world i guess.
with beautiful boys smoking crack and young girls drinking themselves to death
and i'm not motivated to do anything to fix it.
off to partyyyyy peace.
:)
:)
i love being cool.
hopefully it's not real.
i'm sorry.
like everything.
and then my family left.
and the first tthing i did
was i poured a huge glass of wine.
just to unwind.
which is fucked up.
because im sixteen.
i need to rethink somethings in my life right now.
- Mood:
blah - Music:Paper Planes: M.I.A
i love life
i love life
life is great i love itttt la dee daa deee dummm
fjdsakfhdksahfjdash.
i take back what i said about not talking about my love life.
that i'm not going to talk about my love life.
just read all of my previous entries, switch the names and dates around
and BAM. its all the same.
sigh.
but i have a date for prommmm.
and hopefully it just stays that way.
just a person to go with.
nothing more.
because i'm worn out.
sighhhhh.
i wish i had a frank lucas. <3 lol
anyway. since i can't rant and rave about boys
there is nothing to talk about.
so toodles. bitch.
- Mood: listless
so the dance was pretty awesome.
actually it was wicked fun.
the white rave idea was genius.
and then music wasn't as good as last times but
i still love dinan. and i want to DJ the next one. yaya
there were a few awkward moments but lol thats okay.
but yeah. omg. i just. love it.
and after the dance was pretty cool.
hahaha how i love the po-po.
not really. :)
then sat. night i went to monuments talent show.
amazing.
im in love with like ten people.
then i came home. and
surprise.
my parents found something that i stupidly left in my pants pocket
which i left in the dryer.
cool.
so we had a discussion.
and.
haha.
well atleast they were chill about it.
my dad even cracked a joke.
but.
they will not let this one fly.
my mom was being overdramatic and was like we don't want you in rehab.
but throughout this whole time i didnt feel bad or anyhthing. i had to pretend to
look sad/guilty. but inside i was giggling.
and then when they left my room i rolled on the floor laughing.
but then had to jump up when my mom came back to give me a reassuring hug.
im going to hell.
speaking of hell im going to church today.
for everyones comfirmation.
and hahah. idk.
i woke up at six thinking i had to work.
but when i got there avery was there and i was like omgeeeeeee i love avery i get to work with her!
but lol no hahah i didnt have to work with her.
so cool.
but we like talked for twenty minutes about crazy shit and hahah i love aves.
she is so cool.
okay well i think i should sleep a little bit.
so yeah. bye.
it ends at ten.
which gives me two hours of hardcore partying.
nyahahah.
except.
i asked sarah if she wanted to party. and im so so so excited.
but i think morgan was right there when i asked her.
and like i dont mind giving sarah stuff just because its gonna be funnnn but
i don't want morgan there guzzling all of my shit like its a free for all.
god damn. partying is not a cheap hobby.
gas money+booze=a weekend paycheck.
chrisssttttttt.
anyway its just going to be really really fun and gahahaha im just hyped up.
BWAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAH.
fhfaafnsjacijgkahgknvmlad.
okay now i must go do my homework byeeeee.
i love. people.
alot.
sdfghjklij;jsmvripg 's.
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